Masculinity
There is much debate on the nature of masculinity in this day and age. Most ideas revolve around its destructive symptoms (toxic masculinity), or its romanticised past.
I consider myself a man, by my own and by common definition. I identify with my born male sex, I identify with he/him pronouns, I identify as a father for my children. However, in many other ways, which I would call superficial, I have little to do with manliness. I don't care about sports, cars, and many other "manly" interests.
But all of the above is descriptive. I wanted to construct for myself, an ideal of masculinity. Not a list of what not to be or to do, but a list of things to strive for. Virtues may be too big a word. Perhaps simply; notes to myself.
One could wonder what gender should have to do with any virtue or ideal. Should we not all strive to be good in the same ways? And largely I believe so. But we cannot deny that some interplay between biology and history has afforded men many privileges. If there is any short summary to the list below, it is that I believe we should use the privileges we have to help those less privileged. Or even shorter, it's a way of saying: we should be better.
And though masculinity isn't exactly advertising itself in the best way right now, it may need to be said, anyone of any gender is free and welcome to subscribe to the below.
We should take responsibility
For our actions. For our promises. For the way we present ourselves to others.
We can expect persons of any gender to take responsibility, but it's men who have a greater capacity for and tendency of bluffing through broken promises, walking away and starting over, twisting words and denying involvement.
We should keep our promises. We should be there for friends, family and communities who rely on us. We should do hard work when it needs to be done.
We should protect others
We should be aware of our typically greater strength, depth of voice and other physical features. We have a greater capacity to inspire fear and doubt, and cause harm (physically or emotionally). We should show restraint, and never use them against friends, family and communities who rely on us, nor on anyone in a vulnerable position. We should use these features to protect them where necessary. If someone is in need, we should help.
We should lead by example
Whether we hold a position of official leadership or not, we should act as we expect others to act. This is the way we inspire others to be better too.